Jokes page 24
1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? 6. Q: How does a blonde part their hair? 7. Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? 8. Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg? 9. Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? 10. Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? 11. Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane? 12. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? 13. Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? 14. Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment? 15. Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle? 16. Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent
car crash) and a blonde have in common? 17. Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? 18. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? 19. Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle? 20. Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? 21. Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer? 22. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? 23. Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common? 24. Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer? 25. Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? 26. Q: How do you kill a blonde? 27. Q: How do blondes pierce their ears? 28. Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello? 30. Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? 31. Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas? 32. Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? 33. Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings? 34. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? 35. Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? 36. Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick? 37. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator? 38. Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators? 39. Q: Why do blondes wear underwear? 40. Q: What do blondes do for foreplay? 41. Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? 42. Q: What's the mating call of the blonde? 43. Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? 44. Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing? 45. Q: What's a brunette's mating call? 46: Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs? 47. Q: Why do blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax) 48. Q: What is 74 to a blonde? 49. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes? 50. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? 51. Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side? 52. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? 53. Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? 54. Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in? 55. Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning? 56. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? 57. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning? 58. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs? 65. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob? 66. Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? 67. Q: What important question does a blonde ask her mate before having
sex? 68. Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm? 69. Q: Why do blondes have orgasms? 70. Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? 71. Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? 72. Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? 73. Q: Why do blondes use tapons with extra long strings? 74. Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress? 75. Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (readingher
nametag) ? 77. Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? 78. Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? 79. Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? 80. Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes? 81. Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes? 82. Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common? 83. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747? 84. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine? 85. Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth? 86. Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 87. Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? 88. Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? 89. Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde
are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up? 90. Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? 91. Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you? 92. Q: Why do blondes take the pill? 93. Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill? 94. Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel? 95. Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hitsthe
ground first? 96. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? 97. Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde? 98. Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche? 99. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush? 100. Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde? 101. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? 102. Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common? 103. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"? 104. Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? 105. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone? 106. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy? 107. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke
of York? 108. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? 109. Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? 110. Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? 111. Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? 112. Q: What do blondes and spaghetti have in common? 113. Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper? 114. Q: What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common? 115. Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head? 116. Q: How do you drown a blonde? 117. Q: Why did the blonde drown in the pool? 118. Q: Why do blondes have square boobs? 119. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies? 120. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping? 121. Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date? 122. Q: What's the blonde's cheer? 123. Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? 124. Q: How does a blonde moonwalk? 125. Q: Why do blondes find it difficult to marry? 126. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla? 127. Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month? 128. Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? 129. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? puzzle in only 6 months? 131. Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? 132. Q: How does a blonde high-5? 133. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? 134. Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts? 135. Q: Why do blondes have legs? 136. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around
and come home? 137. Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina? 139. Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? 140. Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked
up by "the fuzz"? 141. Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? 142. Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? 143. Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9? 144. Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and
a terrorist? 145. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? 146. Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow? 147. Q: Why don't blondes breast feed? 148. Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? 149. Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails? 150. Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra? 151. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? 152. Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group? 153. Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes? 154. Q: Why do blondes drive VW's? 156. Q: Why did God create blondes? 157. Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? 158. Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves? 159. Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids? 160. Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling? 161. Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? 162. Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde? 163. Q: What do you call a smart blonde? 164. Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words? 165. Q: Why do blondes have periods? 166. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute? 167. Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle? 168. Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period? 169. Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"? 171. Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes? 172. Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor? 173. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chipcookies? 174. Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy? 175. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? 176. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? 177. Q: Why did the blonde try to steal a police car? 178. Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? 179. Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant? 180. Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe
of sly pygmies? 181. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez/Panama Canal? 182. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? 183. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster? 184. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley? 185. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job? 186. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline? 188. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? 189. Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? 190. Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after ablonde
drives a car? 191. Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? 192. Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch? 193. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? 194. Q: What is happening when you hear varoom...screech,varoom...screech,
varoom...screech.....? 196. Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen todeath
in their car at a drive-in movie theater? 197. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating? 198. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend? 199. Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment? 201. Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? 202. Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? 203. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office? 204. Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs? 205. Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? 206. Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? 207. Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor? 208. Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head? 209. Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station? 210. Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? 211. Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? 212. Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde? 213. Q: Why did the blonde cross the road? 214. Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? 215. Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where
the sun went ? 216. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home. On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said had cleaned 43 restrooms. 217. How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand. 218. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie." The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?" 219. A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the
wrong way on a one-way street. 220. A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway. 221. Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron,"
then we could do without the ironing lady. 222. A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends: 223. Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them
decides to call 911: 224. What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins? He wanted
to know who the other man was... 226. This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if you pull you finger out, I'll sink?" 227. Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those arn't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguig, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train. 228. The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her. Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about the birds and the bees and the blonde said: "No ma. I can fuck and suck with the best of them. But he says I can't cook." 229. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door
of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. 231. A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly
Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into
Heaven, you have to pass a test." "Oh, No!" she said but
Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make iteasy. 232. Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"? Got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia... 233. A blonde's response to the comment, "THINK about it!": "I don't have to think -- I'm blonde!" 234. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the
bartender: 235. A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they
just don't remember who with. 237. ... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the slogan "Billions Served - just today" 238. Q. How can you tell that a blonde's having a bad day. 240. Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law? 241. Q: Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee? 242. Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men. 243. Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? 244. Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week? 245. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? 246. Q: What is foreplay for a blonde? 247. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet? 248. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth? 249. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? 250. Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming
vase? 251. Q: How does a blonde commit suicide? 252. Q: How do you plant dope? 253. Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses? 254. Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? 255. Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ? 257. Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS? 258. Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny
blonde? 259. Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a
magician? 260. Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have? 261. Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is? 262. Q: Why don't a blondes guts fall out of her twat when she stands? 263. Q: What's the difference between having sex with a blonde and eating
Jell-o? 264. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer? 265. Q: Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses? 266. Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant? 267. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose? 268. Q: What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist? 269. Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan? 270. Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde? 271. Q: How do you confuse a blonde? 273. Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? 274. Q: How did the blonde burn her nose? 275. Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries? 276. Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde? 277. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? 278. Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS? 279. Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom? 281. Q: Why do blondes like lightning? 282. Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat
forehead? 283. Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? 284. Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons? 285. Q: Why do blondes wear tampons? 286. Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ? 287. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes? 288. Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists? 289. Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? 290. Q: What do you call a blonde touching her toes? 291. Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner? 292. Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair? 293. Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool? 295. Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian? 296. Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground? 297. Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? 298. Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes? 299. Q: What does a blonde owl say? 300. Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass? 301. Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down? 303. Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? 304. Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU? 305. Q: Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS over to Iraq? 306. Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? 307. Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat? 308. Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? 309. Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veternarian? 310. Q: If an blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who would die
first? 311. Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard? 312. What are the worst six years in a blonde's life? 313. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? 314. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance? 315. Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? 316. Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist? 317. Q: What is the definition of the perfect woman? 319. Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun
worry worry worry" 320. Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? 321. Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.
She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?" 322. Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut
it in six or twelve pieces. 323. Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? 324. Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test? 325. Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur
around the home? 326. Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? 327. Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold? 328. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's
car? 329. I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting. She
told me she didn't know how to cook them. 331. Did you hear about the blonde who: 332. Two brunettes and a blonde are in the hospital awaiting the arrival of their first children. The 1st brunette says, "I just know I'm going to have a girl, 'cuz I conceived while I was on my back". The 2nd brunette says, "Mine's going to be a boy, 'cuz I was on top during conception". The blonde says, "Uh-oh! I'm going to have a puppy!" 333. There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal
checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the
baby concieved ?" 334. Blondes... 335. Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles" referred to her ears? 336. Confucious say; blonde who fly upside down have crack up. 337. At a carwash in Burbank, there were two identical Hondas coming out at the same time. A beautiful blond woman jumps into one and takes off, leaving its owner rather perplexed. About three minutes latter, she reappears at the car wash yelling, "who ripped off my car phone!" 338.A blonde goes into the drug store to buy some rubbers (so she can
practice safe sex). She walks up to the pharmicist and asks "How
much for a box of rubbers?" 339. Another blonde, another store. She goes over to the deodorant display
and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband." 340. Another blonde in the porno shop: 341. After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food to replenish his justspent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty hot, so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blonde walks in and says, "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those." 342. Blonde Medical Terminology 343. Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID? 344. Q: How do you give a blonde a brain transplant? 345. Q: Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress? 347. Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms? 348. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator? 349. Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? 350. Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? 352. Why does a blonds bra say T.G.I.F? 352. Q: Why do blondes have vaginas? 353. Q: What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle? 354. Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE WITH A RUNNY NOSE? 355. Imitation of a blonde refuelling.. 356. Q: WHY DON'T BLONDES BREASTFEED THEIR BABIES? 357. Q: What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually
active?" 358. Q: What's the first thing a blonde says in the morning? 359. Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL 10 BLONDES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL? 360. Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? 361 Q: What did Jimmy Swaggart pay for his prostitute and her four blonde
friends? 364. Q: What's brown and red and black and blue? 365. Q: What do you call a brunette and three blondes on a corner? 366. Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer? 367. Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto
Maple Leafs? 368 Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? 369. Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek? 370. Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ? 371 Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex? 372 Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone? 373 Q: What do you call a blonde without an asshole? 374. A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?" 375. Person 1: What's the difference between a blonde and garbage? 376. Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit? 378 Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde? 379. Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when
her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license? 380. Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes with yeast infections? 381. Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence ? 382. (Visual Joke) 383. Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10? 384. Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? 385. Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag? 386. Q: What's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde
and a Schwinn at the side of the road? 387. Teller: Why did the blonde move to L.A.? 388. Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian? 389 Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon? 390 Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? 391 Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer? 392 How do you teach a blonde maths? 393 Q. How does a blonde get rid of crabs? 394. Q: Why do blondes occupy about 90% of the net bandwidth? 395. Q. Why do blondes have bruses on thrie navels?
If there is something copyright protected in there, let me know and I can take
it down or put a reference to it's origin. But the most important thing: Give me new, more jokes! |
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Last Updated: 02.06.05 |